Volume 2
Perception or Reality - May 2007
Another month has passed swiftly and as I come to review it I have the perception that nothing, or at least little, has taken place lately; nothing of note since my last one-to-one chat with my computer friend - what a sad life.
He said, “I suppose it is not surprising that you get depressed from time to time but, with apologies, may I say that if you are in that frame of mind, we should postpone our discussion until you are less down in the dumps. I know you cannot visually see, for that matter neither can I, but that should not blind you to the realities of life around you. Lift your head up and see; just see the events that have, and are, taking place which form the heart of living for you and your nearest and dearest.”
He is right of course. It is not only the politicians and their spin-doctors who have come to believe that perception is more real than reality. In their case it is necessitated by them creating expectations that can never be met. So what is my excuse?
The dictionary definition of the word ‘perception’ gives it several meanings and that can be misleading. For instance, I was told the complete loss of my sight was supposed to result in a 70% drop in my perception. In my distraught state I was only too ready to believe it and, as a consequence, suffered many months of low self-respect, low self-esteem and feeling greatly diminished as a person. Looking back, did I really need to put myself through this self-inflicted torment?
The psychological and mental effect of suddenly losing one's sight is tremendous. The physical change brought about by such loss is also devastating, but my brain is still as sharp, sharper in fact certainly, and my other senses are somewhat improving. And while nothing will compensate me for my loss I might have made life easier for myself, and others, if at the beginning I had accepted that fact earlier.
My computer cut in saying, “Forgive me I must interrupt what, I suspect, is about to be a long diatribe, or I should say, monologue. Admittedly we agreed some time ago that your regular thoughts were, in the first instance, to be cathartic but thereafter informative, directed towards those, and those around them, suffering a loss, not necessarily of sight but any of their faculties, even if only out of a vicarious interest. I know what is in your mind when you talk of lost perception. After all, I have heard it all before but most others will not and, in any event, they will not be really interested. You, of course, are not thinking of a 70% drop in your acuity, insight, awareness, discernment, observation or sensitivity. Surely you knew, or should have known, all your secondary senses don't just disappear with your loss of sight. Come on now, who was it that said, there is none so blind than those that will not see? So look around, recall, dictate, and allow me to record the last month's activities.”
Warming to the task, he said, “In a spirit of helpfulness let me prompt you to think of the so-called uneventful month. What about your jetty - badly damaged during the winter gales? What about the new bathroom suite and the luxury shower in your main bedroom? What about your visit to your eye surgeon? Your busy social scene this month? What about your planning approval? What about your book? What about?” I broke in to say, “All right, all right, you have made your point!”
And of course he had. “It is not the single, big momentous events that shape one’s life from day-to-day.” He went on, “As I said, we can do this at another time, it is your prerogative. A published author you may now be but you have a very long way to go before you have a right to claim an attack of writer's block.” He is right of course, so let me get out of the doldrums.
This month, the repair to the jetty was carried out smoothly and efficiently by a local contractor and is, I understand, as good as new, leaving me wondering why I was so distressed when the storm damage happened a few months ago. I know certainly when I had sight I would have taken the problem in my stride - after all, these things happen when you live by the sea.
Joyce managed to organise the installation of a new bathroom suite in our main bathroom and a new shower arrangement in our master bedroom. The work was carried out very efficiently and smoothly - the men arriving at about eight o'clock in the morning and working quietly and efficiently throughout the day until about 6 o’clock in the evening.
Joyce's concern for me being confronted with more change was kindly meant but unfounded. I adapted to the change quickly and easily.
My hospital visit to my eye surgeon was once again a non-event in as much as there have been no advances in medication or surgery from my point of view. However, I am told there is tremendous work being done in the field of stem-cell implants and the research is such that if I were a mouse, a blind mouse that is, (in about five to ten years time), they may possibly make me see.
We did have a few active social events this month: six dinner parties, (home and away) in the company of good and warm friends.
We also took part in a very special occasion to join Andy and Ken - two remarkable entrepreneurs, on the ceremonial naming of the second vessel to join the fleet of their fledgling, but excellent, luxury cruising Monarch Line. This will be a sister ship to the admirable Glen Masson, another Irish Fishing Coaster, lovingly and expensively refurbished to give a top-star cruising holiday around the beautiful and scenic islands and west coast of Scotland.
Last year I was fortunate enough to sample, at first hand, the excellent wine, food and convivial atmosphere of the Glen Masson. After superb speeches from Andy, Ken and others, the ship was named Glen Tarsan in a commendable and amusing fashion by Andy’s remarkable 94 years young aunt - quite an amazing lady.
It brought to mind a fascinating discussion I had a few years ago with Sheila, her young sister, when she was recalling in vivid detail the great J-Class racing yachts on the Clyde in the early parts of the last century - The Shamrock, Britannia, Valkyrie, etc, I was enthralled. She brought the whole scene back to life.
By the way, I should tell you, this young sister, Sheila, is Andy's 90 year old mother!
All in all, this new high-quality enterprise should successfully serve Scottish tourism well.
Some months back I expressed my disappointment that the Local Authority had refused to grant planning consent for our small housing proposals in the village of Newton. The refusal has now been rightly overturned by the Scottish Executive but what a needless waste of time and money and what an example of Local Government indiscipline and political weakness; the elected Councillors contradicting their own approved development plan for the area and, in so doing, overruling their own officers.
A year was needlessly lost - time, expense and considerable hard work that Lindsay, our planning consultant, had spent - as a result of their planning sub-committee, whose chairman, in spite of his best efforts, failed to control a small cabal of Councillors, being seduced by two or three articulate and very vocal holiday residents who, in the understandable, but selfish, desire to retain the status quo for their ‘weekend retreat,’ would have the village die off as a living community. This futile delay was really caused by a few Council Members being in dereliction of their civic duties and as such I had to remind them of what Socrates said over 2000 years ago – (paraphrasing) “Democracy is diminished if leaders relegate good counsel for immediate populism.”
And of course, I have not forgotten my book. It is doing well and now being stocked in various bookshops and will soon be available in audio; which will be of particular interest to me, being able to hear it for the first time as I am not managing to get anyone to read it to me so far.
Of great importance this month, my eldest son Ewan has now been promoted to Wing Cdr in the RAF and I am pleased for him. But, much more important than that, he and Mel are about to present Joyce and me with our first grandchild - a girl. How is that for news? After 48 years of marriage we are going to have our first grandchild!
My computer interrupted me by saying, “See what I mean? You have taken all this and much more for granted - this month, as you saw it, of non-events. You are a very lucky person and have no right, absolutely no right, to feel sorry for yourself.”
To that I wholeheartedly agree.
Posted on 16 June 2007 – Perception or Reality